emily after

i don't regret not being able to applaud.

i stood at the back in the dark trying to love every moment, but came up empty, gasping for air.

and it could not have been more different from being inside a song you want to be stuck inside.

in my mind i was breaking dishes. and telling you how i was trying.

i was trying. i was trying.

and i thought i heard you tell me that there are some things you enjoy at the time, and savour as you devour. but then there are those things that you leave for a later you.

to come home to, to come in to. in a room full of no-one else.

it is more and less like that.