i am not waiting for anyone else to arrive

i woke up so many times in the night and this morning that i scarcely remember ever sleeping. even in my dreams i would wake up again and again. sometimes to the alarm sounding, and then to feel the wind on my face and the curtains rustling. each time i would see you moving boxes. like an escher print in HB lead, you moving in unending circles. like tetris or mario to the boxes falling as quickly as you move them. each box you unpack sending you packing.

this is how i came to realise you are going. and maybe this is in fact the change. it is not a newfound maturity at all. quite the opposite. it makes me want to go back to bed.

and i blame the boxes, all boxes. the tupperware and empty ice-cream containers. fuck all storage.

if only i could have confined my love to just one of these empty spaces.