forced to fall (emily's word)

emily says the pain is worse today.

she says that's the thing about pain. she can rate it on scale from one to whatever you'd like her to - say five or ten or even a hundred if that's the scope you're used to - and she can tell you that it hurts real bad (like lost love or love that she never quite managed to get a proper hold of), even if there are only superficial scrapes and bruises to see, but you'll just have to take her word for it.

her pain will always be her pain.

her threshold may be higher or lower than yours, or than others' who are in it or experiencing it or nursing theirs or having theirs tended to, she might be downplaying or overstating, and she supposes hers could be entirely imagined.

imagine that.

emily has to type differently today, has to get dressed with greater care, and is nervous to get back on her bike despite doing so minutes after she came off yesterday. she swerved to escape colliding with an opening car door.

emily had her faith falter and restored in the time it took to be forced to fall and then beautifully cared for. the best part of all.

you'll just have to trust her on that one.